Transformative Portrait of Self

2021
Mixed media on board.
This piece serves as a self portrait featuring deconstruction and reconstruction of symbols, perspectives, and interpretations.

As I’ve been deconstructing my faith and working through my beliefs, I’ve slowly and periodically worked on this piece.

It all started out with a few questions and a simple drawing of a deer on four panels of board. Over the course of a few months, both spiraled into something unexpected. With the art, I next added some arrows, changed the positioning of the legs, and added two eyes below the first set. I sat with it and it felt more correct so I left it. I then added some blood dripping from the arrows, an extra eye in the center of the forehead, and the halos. Eventually, I added in the pool of blood, something I was really unsure of and hesitant to do, quickly followed by the floating eyes, something I was more sure of and not at all hesitant to do. The plants came sometime after another few weeks of sitting and wondering what else was needed. Lastly, the text above and below in the Deseret Alphabet was drawn in and inked.

The journey of deconstruction and reconstruction of my faith was present and palpable during the creation of this piece.